The Road is clear

End of august, school starts soon....so - whatsup with my stuff?

well, i gotta say im pretty happy with myself. I was able to beat Nl100, make my money and enjoy summer at the same time. I am now rolled for NL100 even when I take my money out and am a winning player there for 4-5 ptbb/100 hands on a decent sample..about 30k hands.

What does the future hold? We shall see....a couple of months making 25 buy ins + rakeback should pay up a good chunk of my debt + give me the buying power to achieve some long time goals of mine..such as traveling or at the very least moving out / getting a car.

July 27th - next thing to work on

Been watching sum poker vids lately....the main thing that I do not think about as much as these teachers is my perceived range. I think that this puts me in situations where my bluffs do not have the fold equity I calculate, and/or in other spots I could bluff more cuz I could rep something different. Also by doing this I expect my hand reading skills to improve a bunch.


My present situation is that I took money out for the month of july, back at NL50 for about 5 buy ins before I get to NL100 again. No sweat, with the rb that should only take me a week at most......obv if I run awful or tilt it will take me longer.

July 14th: climbing and climbing

I am trying a new system...this change of funcitonning stems from the fear that if I have a downswing that is more than letsay..15 buy ins - my attitude is going to make me lose more money. Simply put, I learn some helplesness and do not play optimally.

So how did I decide to switch it up? Well, any highest point of my br, I set myself a cutoff under which I move down. For example, lets say I run good and make ten buy ins in 4 days...what I would do is tell myself that if I lose 4 or 5 of those, I move down until i make 2 or 3 of them back..then move up.

So br 1900 woot, I tell myself : if it comes down to 1700, I move down until 1800 etc etc.

I figure that I will never have soul destroying swings that way, and the result is I never have week long tilt. The downside? well if I was to run good at 1700 at NL100 that would have got me to 2500 in 2 hours....etc etc.

Poker is a high variance game, I really dont mind putting in some safety guards here and there. I do believe that always playing with confidence, not tilting has better EV than having a 13-14 buy in swing, losing my composure and losing another 5 in tilt.

June 23rd : Same old

You think theres any glamour in poker playing? Today I got up, took a shower and ate. Then i proceeded to grind/take breaks all day long.

This is what 85 % of my poker lifestyle is.

June 21th = No vegas.

well its the 20th, didnt run as good as I was required to to go to vegas. O well - better luck next time. Ima try to get myself another thous be4 the end of june to clear sum more bills...then its gonna be part time for the duration of the summer....in august ima be able to play full time tho.

So really there are 2 scenarios at this point :

1- I take money out and am stuck at NL50, playing an additional 2 month...god by then ima for sure be a really good NL50 reg..i already am but i dunno if i have the best winrate i could have.

2- I play some Nl100 and see where that takes me...the good thing about that is that I actually dont need to be a super winner to make the same money im making now...the rakeback is so intense the 1000 $ would really be a matter of putting in the hours...which is more interesting for me...Less pressure for the same results.

I have to say that living at jay's is a pretty cool thing, i can go out on a whim, its way less expensive in terms of time and money.....plus when i come back im on my own and really free to do whatever....I like that

its a good motivator to make it on my own and have my own place.
Toodles

June 18th = No vegas

Ive been grinding like an idiot for like the last 10 days? running awful bad...i dont think there has been a single day that i have not lost money

or

That i dont end my day with at least four or five 2 -4, or 7 outers that suck out on the river...or being outkicked...or not getting my draws...or having a set on a board and every drwas hitting..or having an OP like KK and getting against a set...or LOL 22 on 2 TT 4 T ?AWESOME !

anyways....what am i focusing on as of now..

well i read a pooh bag post that talks about how if you dont know your opponents exact holding by the river your not ready to play lag so ive been focusing on doing that.

Also, I thikn I need to respect my opponents bets on the river way more - mb im just running awful, but it seems like they always have something better than me on the river....like if i have KT on a AxxxT board and its been check throu and im IP and he bets the river and i call and he has AJ ? nice. i dunno...work in progress

I actually tilted today, its been awhile

hand that tilted me?

Having JT on a 89Q board that I bet get 2 calls, turn is a J and super aggro donky OPEN SHOVES the rest of his stack obv with TK ftw.

anyways...ima try to clear my rb bonus by the end of the month, get myself an extra 450 and buy some shit before I start school.

Obviously im not going to vegas. Im EXTREMELY dissapointed in that...im really pissed at this fucking running HORRIBLE shit.....it adds up to the anger ive had today, yesterday and for some time now

LOL ppl call me i dont even answer, im in too much of a rotten mood.

June 13th - A whole lot of deja vue...

...but with more money going into my pockets.

First 13 days of just done, I has made 750 euros. My highest point was 1100 about a week ago but thats poker for ya. My first shot at NL100 started on a little swing, but I was quick to get my br back up for another shot. That one got a little better...I did approx 10 buy ins in like 5 days....and of course the major rakeback i get afterwards gets my numbers up while im on a breakeven strech like right now.

Actually the way I see it is I boost my br to a highpoint, that high point was 2200 euro - 600 I just took out, so thats 1600...+ the 100 and 300 of rakeback that gets me to 2000(now its at 1450)

Every hand I play until my br gets back at 2000 euro is what is called a breakeven strech. This means that the time I will be putting into poker is technically not making me money, since I am just getting back at a level I have achieved prior. Poker is a game of high variance tho, it has been a pretty regular story for me up to now, one upswing, one downswing, rince and repeat.

Living at jay's has its ups and downs....Im not sure at this point if Ima go to vegas ...I have to weight in that plan vs the other one : Paying my debts.

If i take my money and start paying my shit Ima be in a good spot for the next months or so....and im talking about debts to people no the bank. I do feel like these people should have priority over me getting myself wasted in vegas..if it was my money Id rather have it in my pockets than watch the guy spend it on himself. + I could take a few hundreads and buy myself some clothing - omg its been awhile since Ive did that.

So yeah Ill have to figure it out.

Btw im supposed to mention(cuz I said I would) that comfypants is interested in getting into the documentary project.

All good.

random rant on wisdom

1 - your gonna run bad, and worst, and worst- but your gonna run better and better and better

so if you keep learning - think back of the worst run at that stake....if you were to have the same run of cards now itd be worst....now think of the best upswing youve had.....it would prolly be better than then.

2- NO such thing as a social poker player...maybe someone will disagree but Id be hardpressed to find a single poker player who got where he was by having a good social time. Making the time/efforts for this means you are gonna spend endless hours on your own, and with your own shit when running bad. Its not fun but it has to be done.

3 - Always respect your roll. If for the last week youve lost2 buy in every day...dont think its gonna take another 7 days @ 2 buy ins a day to make it back up....in me experience I run bad for a longer time then run super hot for a short one...but I make more money - there aint a thing as running hot for too long. Although since running bad is the devil mb it just stays inside my mind longer...and lingers.

3- Lol nobody cares if you make it. I didnt start for others to accept me more or become proud of me or whatever, but now that Im making it I dont expect people to start to care. The people that really care, the people I want around me, are the people that knew i was gonna make it when I was playing Nl10.

4- Putting yourself in a positive environment. Wow im living at my friends loft eating and drinking poker before I start summer classes trying to make it at Nl100....and not having my sis/mom behind me just putting me down and trying to make me quit at every possible time is just a huge weight off my shoulders, makes grinding much much easier to deal with. Especially when running bad.

5 - Even if you play well your gonna play bad. Sometimes your gonna encounter situations where your A game just isnt enough to deal with the situation, truth is you dunno what to do and why. Those situations are going to happen again and again, so you gotta always ask questions and always look for the spots you sucked.

6 - More money will come later, so it doesnt matter if your poor now.

Jun 2 - FIirting wih limitations

Today, I could not play......I could not - I started to, then after about 500 hands I lost a couple buy ins in a ridiculous fashion and I began to be totally indifferent to the game so I had to stop.

This is part of the game, I will obv not do this for a long time but if its just for a day and I do other stuff, I dont mind it as much.....

Update on temporary situation

God this dude never fucking cleans anything...too busy making money lol

Started to slowly grind between doing all my other stuff so havent put in a shitload of hands yet..although my br is still growing...

I met this guy Yesterday who wants to follow some poker players around to find out what it really means to make a living doing this.....im very interested in this project and he has all my information at his disposal.

Lol mb ima be a local star..although thats not really what i want...i dont really want anything out of that really- documentaries are not made to create stars.

im tired - time to go to bed.

Moved into my buddy's loft

Yup, hes moving to vegas for 6 week tomorow morning.....ima be the tennant of his huge awesome condo for that time...sick life.

What am i gonna do? im GRIND thats what..on these twin HUGE screens i can easily manage 6 tabling and not gt my eyes tired so thats the new system.....my im technically rolled for NL100 starting friday when my rb comes in and i didnt swing before then(were wednesday) so thats pretty cool..althou I might have to take money out to pay for shit like grocery and stuff...

So yeah, another stepping stone in my poker career... :)

Sat May 23 : Lol emo swings

So after my miserable day...and after being done with the anger/depression part of poker...I reload and plan for the next move.

Lucky me my friend was in mtl, and i was invited to go shopping with him and his super awesome mom....hes my childhood friend / kinda like a brother to me tbh.
Anyways we had a few beers and a good time.

He then played a sesh of 2/4 NL 12 tabling when we got back to his place....Lol that really made the difference...he played against regs left and right and got c/r and played against lines that dont make sense...
kinda like what i was going through...
but this is the thing - he folded most of them ! So really, i saw him be patient, and thats what i kinda figured i needed to do.

Then I play a sesh myself on his huge computer screens, 6 tabling Nl50 for the hell of it.....wow running good? Lol mb not so so hot but the thing is, when you get c/r all the time for like 2 weeks straight....its fucking weird when ppl just call your value raises with worst, and dont pull and nonsensical moves on you.

* Huge sigh of relief*

So where Am I now : started at 1150 euros ....with my rakeback I was able to get myself to 1400 - the 500 that i decided to get myself out this time...
Not so catastrophic in the end....but it is impressive that on any given day I can make or lose 300 euros...those are HUGE swings that I am not used to...maybe I should reconsider the bankroll requirements of Nl100 to 30 buy ins or something just to be on the safe side well see.

Cheerios.

Poker: Wow im miserable.

I seriously cannot take this shit....I trully hate my state right now and I cannot live in this condition for anything...let alone poker.

FFS- FOR FUCKS SAKE
how much do i have to pay right? I mean i watch poker vids, i post hands, I comment on other hands, I ask my rlf for poker advice...I do my best to play my A game hell im playing 4tables and taking notes..thinking about ranges....ive fucking been working on my ABC game for a year now you really think i cant vbet properly?

FUck no obviously, and thats not even the fucking shit here - of all the fukcin video that are made from pros - absolutely none of them deal with how to play regs...NONE ! "well this guy is loose passive, i cant bluff him so i wont....but look i made a set and he paid off" " you guys just need to play abc poker and your gonna crush these games "

Sure ! until i go to the fucking tables and :
- get 3 bet light
- get c/r light
- get floated
- am against thin bets on river that were getting towned
- were playing against people that only pay off flop and turn with TPTK cuz their thinking players
- 4 out of 6 players at my tables are regs and are giving me hell

so...really...whats going on? :
- i play in position but i have to fold my holdings cuz they fucking bet and raise HUGE amounts that make no sense that I cannot draw to
- I get c/r off most of my cbets or floated when im in pos
- i dont get paid off when i do hit..............or i valuetown myself cuz vs super passive players who are also tight and usually aggro,....but they are thinking so they let you bet your tptk on 3 streets and obv they have the flopped set...or better fucking yet - they dont 3bet AK and you have AJ FFS
- ppl 4bet me light.....PEOPLE 4 BET ME LIGHT ! ABC poker my fucking ass.

so really my fucking non-showdown winning is going to hell cuz I either tighten up, play my cards face up against people who are smart enough NOT to pay off when Im tight and get my money in....or try to out play them post flop and suck cuz everytime I look for knowledge on how to fucking do it right I get " play abc, O look I just farted...mb you should breath that theres enough knowledge to beat NL50 for 10bb in there AHAHAHA"

FUCKING ASSFUCK SHITGFAACE FICCKCLKDJFD:KLSJ GSD:KJG

im angry.

May 18th : So what now?

Ive made my monthly money to pay for all my shit....at least Im pretty sure I should be alright, Ill be taking my 1000 out this friday...which is 2-3 days from now so hopefully i dont get a -10 buy in crushing streak that would fuck me over real bad lolz.

Im moving to live at jay's loft downtown for the month of june while hes gonna be at vegas playing the WPT events...hes into the 40k event but its not sure he can make it cuz he needs a wire transfer to be accepted from ub,anyways.

I start school June 27, that means that with the 350 $ ima be taking out to pay for my tuition, ima have about 150 left to pay up before I can subscribe to my university for summer classes. I know ima be taking some spanish classes, but I have no clue what other class ima b taking- well see about that later.

So, what are my goals for the month of june....well - i have sooo many vids on bluefirepoker to watch in order to perfect my NL50 skills that I can expect my winrate to grow during that time. My br will be at approximately 15 NL50$ buy ins away from playing NL100...letsee thats 5bb/100 hands x4 = 20bb per hour approx + rb that i dont calculate ...so thats 5 hours per buy in.
I can prolly play 25-30 hours per week so thats 3 weeks....however with the rb i figure i can prolly play for two weeks and get my br up enough pending a downswing. Could also be a shorter time, I put my winrate at 5 which is my estimate at this time but i could be worst or better..although not by much imo.

that means that by June 5~10 I should be able to start playing NL100...leaving me 10 days before I will have to take my money out yet again to pay for shit.

There is a scenario in which I play well at NL100, dont experience a swing and stay there even when I take my money out - that would be the best scenario

the second best is I break even or slightly win and have to move back down to NL50 and be close to 20 buy ins for NL100...meaning that during the month of july Id be taking shots

the worst would be that I swing hard at NL100, and swing hard at NL50........and that by the time I have to take some money out I would have to go back to grinding NL50 for awhile.

However, in all scenarios I end up playing NL100 cuz even in the third one, ill be playing NL50 and beating it...I figure I could prolly get my NL50 winrate to 8bb/100 hands during the month of June if I work hard(which I intend to do) so even if i gotta grind NL50, ill be taking shots at NL100 in the following months and shit.

Plus I have the month of august off....so I think I can expect myself to be a marginal 3-4bb winner at NL100 by the end of this summer /start of school.

At least thats the plan

May 17th : Break even day

yup, today was the day that I broke even....it took 15 k hands - Cuz I have 60% rakeback, a break even stretch means that I do about 10$ an hour.

I think I watched the vids on bluefirepoker at about hand 9000/9500

Thurs may 14 = 2ble my winrate

Wow...I think today was my third day straight that I made 2-3 buy ins a day. I gotta say, watching the vid really helped me..obv I watched another one of the same coach + posted another 2 hands on deuces..something that I will prolly do everyday since my hh are pilling up. I think I have over 50 hands that are marked/that I am supposed to look at for leaks...yeah.

But seriously I now feel like I am making money while I am playing, its like I have control of whats going on at the tables. I realized that I did not know how to play position, my bet sizing was mostly wrong and really....I think I have now doubled my winrate - im even confident enough in my new found knowledge that I think I could go and beat NL100 right now. Funny part is? today and yesterday I think im running 3 buy ins under EV, meaning im actually running semi-bad..w00tz

There is a lil monkey wrench in the engine...I seem to be getting headaches pretty easily these days - I only play 2 hours and I have to stop. Today I had a sesh, 550 hands - then I stopped, slept like one hour and played another 400 hands before the tables broke(late night playing, no action on my site) but yeah...

my br is at 915, I have 9 days to go before my monthly withdrawal....im getting my 300 rb + 2 weekly rb jumps of 50 euros this week, and 80 the next one....so mb I wont have such a bad month after all.

Wed May 13th = Show me how deep the rabbit hole goes

It has happened, today was my first day that I not only made a couple buy ins at NL50, but I played my A+ game doing it.
I saw a video on bluefirepoker.....and it was the most useful poker video for me out there . If you remember, tilt is the feeling that the opponent always has it, and that your bluffs never work. The video was about all the low variance spots that I just got too lazy and off focus to exploit. Ive also posted my first two hands on deucescracked yesterday - read the responses today, interesting. When im playing my A game though I am more receptive to proactive learning like videos and article but less so reactive learning of looking at my hands.

Right now Im listenning to this new DnB track : deep focus / heavy metal...
but yesterday was the nuts in terms of music.....by far my favorite song right now : Reflekt - need to feel loved(Deep focus & InContext remix)

Anything else? well, I was thinking to myself that a year from now I want to reread my present post and remember how it was to be sitting at home, not even 15 $ in the bank account to spend.....no clothes to wear that is less than a year old.......in need of a haircut

I want to look at this post and never forget what It took/ what im doing to have success at poker.

Tuesday may 12 - Slippery ladder

Nice title imo.....had another weird day at the poker tables - broke even on 1400 hands of 4t Nl50.
Im not too stressed. One the one hand if I do stress it doesnt change much, on the other with my twin rakebacks coming in the next 7 days my br will be back to its original 1100 amount...this will leave me about 6 other days counting the 6 next ones to get a few more bucks for my monthly withdrawal.

Jason has coached me like a champion........ever cooked? Letsay your making a recipe...but it does not taste exactly like you want it to - there is something missing.
In this context the missing haHA ingredient would be super important for the cook, but to a random observer it would be nothing more then a raw piece of the puzzle...like "garlic" or "carrots".
This is what happened while I was being coached this weekend.....to the casual observer the question "does he call the flop with XYZ and play the river that way" might sound like the most mundane poker sentence...but to me, it explainned the last 15 hands I did not get in about one second...it all made sense.

During my session today I was able to make some pretty sick hero calls with second pair type hands, and I was able to rightly(i believe) fold good but not strong enough hands. I will however give credit to my competition, sometimes I knew I could not call a strong bet on the river to be faced with a ridiculous bet that I had to call......it was like they knew my hand and knew I could not call a big bet - or they suck at bet sizing and this is a std bet for them.

Nl20 used to be, 5-6 month ago - the bane of my existence, I could manage 3-4 PTBB and had huge swings......now I run at 5-6 ptbb(12 bb) and I dont feel like I even have to think about anything while I play. I sure hope 3-4 months from now I will feel the same way about Nl50.

I have changed my hand posting site from 2p2 to deucescracked....and I have 2 new poker video sites to check out. I really look forward to the changes my game will go through, and how it will affect my win rate.

The title is slippery ladder, I find it fits my present situation...on about 23k hands im running at a whopping 1.5 bb/100 hands at NL50...the first 15k hands were at about 6-7bb and I thought I was on the right track and nothing could go wrong.....now I am still struggling to get back to the br I had when I started playing poker again after uni finished a week and a half ago.
It just "feels" like im climbing up but it doesnt feel solid. On the other hand were not talking about the life crush swings of 18 or 21 buy ins I have had the luck of experiencing in the past...if I got over them - ill get over whatever I need to now.

I might feel this way and that way, but I always make sure my actions direct me in the right direction....no matter how hopeless I feel, I will reach NL200 by the end of 2009. thats it thats all.

May 08 2009 - All about momentum

Ok so i had to move down to Nl25 today...I swear to god I have played my share of those stakes and more..I dont even think anymore while I play
and the "fancy"moves I pull are standard stuff Id pull 10x per hour at NL50

Since I got bored I could put 3 tables up and watch High stakes poker season 5 in the remainning corner of my screen...seriously I think I put in 1400 hands today
made 5 buy ins.

Im thinking of making a vid for NL25, I have proven to be a good winner there over 20k hands and shit so you know..mb it could be useful

If I do not, ill make one for NL50 where I leak all over cuz some of my bluffs are primitive...I still havent mastered the subtelties of board reading when bluffing...but im working on it!

So i got good momentum, I should be playing my A game tomorow to
W00tz

May 6 - Downswings

Maaaaannnnnnnnnnn
Theres nothing longer than a day when your supposed to play...but your on tilt so you cant.

I wasted my whole day today....watched t.v. - played some dota - etc
and all those activities sucked why? cuz im Tilting thats why.

Theres a Shitload of different ways to tilt....sometimes im bored so I just dont care about the tables, sometimes I get 4outed on the bubble of a tournament...sometimes I play vs one guy and he sucks out like 5 times in a row and I scream at my screen.

Today was different. I have played 6 days straight last week, about 10-11 k hands 4tabling and lost about 9 buy ins.....and today I played about 1 hour and lost about 3 buy ins at NL20euros.
My tilt? I feel like my mind is learning that no matter what happens im losing, and that learning is happenning no matter what my thinking side says. So im playing and everyhand that im being dealt, I feel like im gonna lose some money....Then all hell breaks loose - I am convinced that I never hit any sets, when I do everyone fold, Im not being dealt any cards...everyone c/r my bluffs perfectly and so on and so forth

Mind you nothing is different at the tables, but my mind is noticing some things more and more, while ignoring others - all that so my mind can be right ! its not me its the tables !

To me thats one of the worst mental states to be in...I cant read hands anymore cuz im too busy being hopeless, I cant pull big bluffs cuz I think they have it 100% and for some reason I call every fucking useless fucking draw I can...and the minute I do I realize that it was a horrible call...the cycle continues.

So I know what Ima do tomorow, I just dunno if its gonna work. Ima play 2 tables instead of 4 at NL20...and ima do my best to focus on "playing this hand the best way possible" and just try to keep my mind on that goal. Hopefully I can find my focus again.

oh and btw that swing took my br from 1050 to 630 now....however those 10 k hands, in RB is like 200 euros so really my br is at 830
one buy in at NL50 = ~37 euros so you know....im not that deep in the rabbit hole.

Im going to bed.

May 04 2009

I dont have much to say about today. I trained / played some poker / reviewed by session took some off time.

I have learned one thing from poker today: Determine villain's range and figure out what hes repping in that range + how would he play the range you want him to have, i.e. his range your getting value out of.

The specific hand that I reviewed today with yi :
KQos UTG rai 4x bb I cold call from MP, folds.

Flop comes K44 rb, he bets pot i call
turn comes blank he bets pot I call
river blanks he bets pot again I call he has AK

What I did not realize is that he never bets that way/those amounts with Kj Kt, hes more likely to bet ~60% pot on turn and its hard for him to bet river......also - hes never bluffing that spot. Except with AK KK he plays it exactly like that. He had AK

I was watching the matrix just 5 min ago and right when Neo is about to take the red pill from Morpheus, Morpheus describes what the matrix is. He basically says "the matrix is what you see when you look out the window, it is in this room right now, it is there when you pay your taxes"
I realized that he says stuff about the matrix that is true, I mean the information is correct....but he keeps that info so general you cannot pinpoint exactly what he means. I mean, if I want to describe the matrix I would probably say something like : the matrix is a simulation of your sense made for you to live in as if it was the real world...etc etc.

This is what I am thinking: Mb that is the way I will describe some "things" to women.....truthfull things but general enough so they cant pinpoint exactly what I mean......Ive done that numerous times in the past, theres nothing special there but I found the matrix metaphor to be quite elegant in demonstrating how I go about it...

Girl : what do you wanna do tonight?
Me(although im writting this at 2am, tired, not really inspired/in the mood): Well I wanna be suprised, I wanna do things that are going to make me smile for different reasons....I wanna go places I know we will both like...and I want to take you to places where I think your gonna wanna be..

Lol I just thought of another one : " I dont know...but standing is overated...mb I feel like doing something else tonight"

i dunno bout u but with the right tone of voice, mb some better inspiration that im having right now this could work - except now I have my own way of explainning it ;)

- Restlys

Prelude

Considering I decided to create myself a blog, I do not yet know what I will wanna write about...I shall sleep on it tonight - and maybe tomorow night also.

I kinda wanna decide what I wanna do with this blog / who it is for/ and what I want from it.

Cheerios.